7 ways your vagina is speaking to you
1. Sphincters: The Gatekeepers of Pleasure
You might not think about your sphincters too often, but they play a big role in how open (or closed) you feel to intimacy and pleasure. Sphincters are the ring-like muscles that control openings in your body—think your mouth, anus, and of course, your vagina. These muscles tighten or relax depending on your body’s signals, and they can tell you a lot about how you’re feeling.
If your sphincters are tight, it’s a clear sign that your nervous system is in “guard mode.” Maybe you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or not fully ready to engage with the outside world (or with another person). These muscles tend to clamp up when you’re nervous or holding onto fear, making it hard to truly relax and enjoy intimacy.
On the flip side, when your sphincters are relaxed, your body is in “open” mode—ready to connect, engage, and experience pleasure. Paying attention to these subtle cues is a perfect way to gauge how receptive your body is at the moment. If you notice tension, ask yourself: Are you really open to receiving pleasure right now, or is something holding you back? Sometimes a little relaxation or breathing can make all the difference!
2. Painful Sex
Let’s cut straight to the chase—sex should not hurt. If you’re experiencing discomfort or pain during sex, it’s your vagina’s way of saying, “Hey, something’s not right here!” Pain during sex can happen for a variety of reasons—anything from lack of arousal or lubrication to underlying conditions like vaginismus or pelvic floor tension. But the good news is, you don’t have to suffer in silence!
One effective way to address painful sex is through sexological bodywork (which I specialize in!). This approach is all about helping you release tension, reconnect with your body, and learn to experience pleasure without pain. It’s a holistic, hands-on practice that combines physical and emotional healing, guiding you to move past discomfort and into deeper intimacy.
It’s important to listen to your body and seek out support. If you want to learn more about how sexological bodywork can help, check out my FAQ page. You deserve to experience pleasure without pain!
3. Painful Menstruation
In Traditional Chinese Medicine, your period is considered a vital sign—just like your heart rate or blood pressure. It’s a direct line of communication from your body, telling you how things are going on the inside. If you’re experiencing painful periods, it’s not something to be brushed off or masked with painkillers or birth control.
That’s like silencing an alarm without actually checking what’s on fire!
Pain during your period is your body’s way of saying something is off balance. Instead of ignoring it, try tuning in. Your period is actually one of the most revealing times of the month—when your body refuses to let you ignore what’s really been bothering you. Those decisions you’ve been avoiding? The relationships that don’t feel quite right? It all bubbles up during your cycle, giving you a chance to face the truth head-on.
The Western approach to just eliminating the cycle altogether or numbing it with meds misses the point.
Your body is talking to you—so listen closely! Painful periods are a call for deeper attention, and addressing the root cause can lead to lasting relief and better overall well-being.
4. Chronic UTIs or Yeast Infections
UTIs and yeast infections are like the bad exes that keep coming back. But did you know that frequent infections might be linked to how your body responds to intimacy and pleasure?
Stress, lack of lubrication, or even poor boundaries in relationships can manifest as chronic infections.
Your vagina is definitely speaking to you here, asking for a little more love and care—whether that’s more hydration, more lube, or more mindfulness around intimacy.
5. Low Libido
If your sex drive has taken a nosedive, it’s not just about hormones. Your vagina—and your body—might be telling you that it’s tired, stressed, or just not feeling cared for.
Low libido often shows up when you’re overworked, under-rested, or emotionally drained.
Before you panic, take a step back and ask yourself what’s going on in your life that might be causing this dip in desire.
Check out my blog 6 Ways to Make Your Home More Erotic to spice up your environment and learn new ways to raise your libido.
6. Being Tired All the Time
Exhaustion isn’t just about needing more sleep.
If you’re feeling constantly drained, your body—and your vagina—might be telling you that you’re not getting the right kind of nourishment or pleasure.
Being tired all the time can be a sign that you’re not prioritizing rest, joy, or pleasure in your life, and your body is feeling the effects.
Listen to that tiredness and give yourself permission to slow down and recharge.
7. Avoiding Touch
If you’re avoiding touch altogether—even simple things like hugs—it could be a sign that you’re feeling disconnected from your body.
When your body is saying “no” to any kind of physical affection, it might be protecting itself from deeper feelings of discomfort or fear around intimacy.
It’s a clear signal that your vagina—and your whole body—need some TLC and maybe a reconnection to the things that bring you joy and comfort.
Your vagina is always communicating with you, sending signals that something might need attention—whether that’s more rest, more pleasure, or more care. So, the next time you notice any of these signs, take a moment to listen. Your body is wise and knows exactly what it needs to thrive!
Your vagina might be telling you it’s time for a new kind of support.
Sexological Bodywork offers hands-on, somatic healing to help release tension and reawaken your body’s pleasure potential. Discover sexological bodywork here.
Discover How Sexological Bodywork Can Help You…
-Communicate deeply with your vagina
-Increase your libido
-Feel more joy and pleasure
